The Big Day

Monday January 12, 2009 No more tears left to shed. Today was the big day. The 4 oldest kids are off to boarding school about 2 hours away. I greeted each of them around 6:30 when they were up and getting going. “ It’s the big day!!!” Smiles everywhere. They were dressed and ready to go by 7:15. Bags packed full of glee. But as with all things Rwandan, not everything goes according to plan and were delayed a bit. We hung out at the 1st home until all the necessary arrangements were ready. Tantia Claudin, the amazing 18 year Aunt who is such a blessing for the kids was sooooo sad. She was trying to comprehend life without Fabiola in her home as well as the 3 boys from the 3rd home. They spent some time together in the living room and cried and cried. All of them except Fabiola. She keeps everything locked inside as a woman-to-be of steel. Good and Bad as you know. We would like to see her let her emotions be real. The boys just kept crying and crying. They were happy to go to school, but so sad to be leaving everyone. Isaac just kept staring at the photos of everyone on the wall. It was like he was memorizing all of his brothers and sisters and trying to comprehend what this next phase in his life would be like. Mama Imaculee came in and we prayed together on our knees in a circle with Claudin and the kids going to school. Then everyone just sat still and stared. Claudin and Mama kept walking around brushing away the tears of the kids and then they stepped back and wiped away their own too. I was a wreck. Hey at least they get to see these kids before the next year! But my tears were more than this. I was just trying to comprehend what their lives could have been. I think about all the kids involved in the genocide in Darfur. Each of their lives is just a precious as these kids. Each of them have a name and each of them has a bright future if that right resources could surround them. I know these kids are well on their way. We packed up and began the long 2+ hour drive to Rougneiri. The rounds up and down and around the hills could make the strongest tummy weak with nasua. Fabiola asked that we drive slow but she did great. We sang songs and took in the scenary. It’s so nice for me to get outside of the city as the hills are soooooo green and lush and breathtaking vs the business of the citylife. The boys followed behind in another car. The check in process was a mob scene. Kid and parents lined up everywhere. Each child with a suit case and a bucket for their bathing. Fabiola was sans one important item. Her hair. After spending 3 years growing it out with lovely braids we confirmed this morning that she like all of the kids have to be shaved. It’s very common in the country, in fact mandatory even in the public schools through senior year of high school. We had just been a unique situation with our private school where it was note required. So our dear Fabiola sat in the chair brave as could be and watched her head be shaved. She’s beautiful. Not one tear. Not one from our mighty strong girl. We was knew it was a requirement of school and she wants to be in this school. Bless her sweetness. The kids got in the line to be processed. It was nuts. But finally we made it through. The kids just kept looking around trying to take the big grounds in to see what this new adventure was all about. Isaac blinked back the tears. Some girls immediately approached Fabiola and tried to connect with her. She just kept her head down but eyes up trying to see if this was good. The girls were persistent and began to win her over. When our tour guide arrived to show us where to go, the older of the girls that had been chatting with Fabiola was assigned to be her friend. She took Fabiola’s hand and led us to the room. The compound is large, holding 600 kids. They sleep about 14 to a room in bunk beds. Chantal and I could hardly believe how many kids were in each room. An Auntie is assigned to each room to keep them comfortable and safe. Next it was off to the boys room. We think they will all be in the same room, but it was unclear before we left. The kids looked amazing in the clothes that The Leahy Family and Lynn donated for this very occasion. They seemed to be finding their way when it was our turn to leave. Chantal gathered the kids and said a prayer. More tears. But this time, she knew that they would follow her lead so she wiped away their tears and hers to show them smiles and love. They seemed to fight back the fear to fall into a million pieces and rallied. I took a moment with each one. Told them how much I loved them and that I would see them next year. I look forward to the day that they have email. As we left I bust into a million zillion tears. Chantal wrapped her arms around me and said “oh Miss Donna, this will be good. “ “Don’t worry.” “Yes we know how much you love these kids.” Etc etc. The tear drops flood my computer as I type this again trying to be like Fabiola – strong. But alas, I am a wimp and I miss them so much already. The boys have each other in their room. Fabiola is in a big room all by herself. Well not exactly, she has 13 other girls who will quickly become her friends. The compound is so different from our homes. They wash their hands in a center courtyard area. I presume that is where they brush their teeth too. Not sure where they bathe. Our kids go outside to wash their hands and brush their teeth too, but it is a home…not a big school grounds. Enough whimpering. They’ll do great. I just know it. On the way back we stopped to see the homes that CALM build (Chantal and Mbanda’s nonprofit) for child as head of household in the area. There are 20 homes. 3 small, I mean very small rooms (wait, I take it back…it’s about the same size as my studio apt in NY!) Outhouses are in a center area and it’s lovely. A health clinic decided to build in the area right next to them so they’ll have good care too. We did a quick tour of one of the homes and shot a quick video with Chantal. Next to the market. Produce costs about 30% less here so Chantal wanted to fill the SUV with everything we could fit into it. While she negotiated I shot a bizillion photos. Chantal didn’t think they would welcome the camera here, but eventually I became fast friends/entertainment and everyone wanted their photo taken. The sun was setting so the fun lasted only about an hour or so. The drive back was challenging as the full moon didn’t seem to shine much light on our windy road, but the good Lord got us back safely. I got into a taxi with Sieba for the final phase. Our driver tried to find gas at 4 places before we finally got about $5 bucks worth. The needle still registered empty so I hope Sieba made it home as I was the 1st to be dropped off. At home everyone was anxious to hear about the trip. The best way to was to show the photos as without the big kids we are back to basically no English being spoken in the homes. The Mama and Aunties have a handle on the basics…hello, good bye etc but can’t really explain much about the day. The best way was to quickly download my photos and let them tell the story. Before I began I said “Mama” she relied “yegoo…(yes) “Fabiola!” “Yes Miss Donna”. I made the motion of the buzzing of the hair and she said “oh no” and laughed but felt Fabiola’s pain. The Mommies, cook and night watchmen laughed too. Not at her, but at the situation. When they saw the photos, they oohed and ahhhed. Loving 30 kids like they are my own makes today a big emotional day. I am completely spent.