DEZAMIES WITH PT DEZAMIES FEET CHECK OUT THE WET SHIRT - WASHED AFTER DEZAMIES ADDED SOME LIQUID LOVE DEZAMIES WITH SPECIALIST DEZAMIES WITH DONNA

Lessons in Need

Hello, Harvin here guest blogging tonight. (Although as I spend more time here I am beginning to feel less like I did last time, a volunteer and guest, and more like New Hope Homes has become a second home to me). Let me try to explain by talking about our day full of lessons, namely of need.

LESSONS IN NEED – Surprisingly, not just financial, although that is a very big part of it. A large thank you to everyone who has contributed supplies, money, and time. There are many needs here I am just beginning to understand.

NEED FOR GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS

Time is rather loosely defined here, which is sometimes quite challenging for Donna and me who have survived and thrived in the corporate world by living by a rigid calendar. Perhaps you might suggest, as some of our friends have, that we as two type A personalities have a ‘need to relax’. Truthfully though the lack of time to accomplish everything is a rather big deal. We are constantly being torn by balancing time spent with the kids and time spent contributing to the actual work that needs to be done, from processing paperwork, to organizing and categorizing supplies, to getting things fixed on the van or the house, to shopping for things we need here, to keeping track of shoe and clothes sizes for a household of 29 growing children, to running kids to doctor appointments, to even finding a moment’s peace for ourselves to rest…… Yep, better time management and a few more hours in the day would help. But so would a little more cultural giddy up and sense in urgency others. Alas, I may just ‘need to relax’.

NEED FOR PROFESSIONAL EXPERTISE

After Deszamies’ breakthrough with the walker yesterday, the plan was to take him today to physical therapy, get a proper diagnosis, and develop a sustainable plan for how to treat the physical effects of his Cerebral Palsy. The team consisted of myself, Donna, Auntie Jackie, Fabiola as our interpreter (who was so good with helping him yesterday learning to move around in his walker), and Joseph our replacement driver. We arrived at the clinic and proceeded to the back where a couple of therapists were working with babies on the floor. Now mind you, this is no Western clinic, with bright lights, shiny equipment, and a surplus of supplies. My first look was to see two therapists sitting on an old mattress on the cement floor working with two babies. Other kids appeared to be lined up waiting their turn, but we were all crowded into the same small room. Everyone was excited to see Dezamies walk with the walker, but it was clear that there is much more needed. We were ushered into see a doctor, a wonderful woman appropriately named Joy. She walked us through the next steps needed if we hope to see him walk unaided someday. It starts with a cast on his leg today for a week to reset his leg muscles into the proper alignment, and then move on to a leg brace on one leg which he needs to wear every day except when he is getting professional therapy three times a week or doing daily exercises, and also a fitted orthotic in the shoe of his other leg. Part of my brain was thrilled to learn that he actually has a chance at leading a normal physical life someday, but then I started to panic at the logistics involved. There is the cost of weekly therapy, the logistics and cost of getting him to and from the clinic three times a week, the braces that will inevitably change sizes as he grows, the training of the Aunties to do the necessary exercises, etc. All balanced against the needs of 28 other children, some who also have special needs, and all who need to be cared for. And with our time here limited I am worried about actually making this happen. But I have learned to take Joy whenever I can find it here. This time it was in the form of a wonderful woman, who made me think that someday a little boy who has only been able to barely crawl his entire life will be able to run to greet me with a smile on his face.

NEED FOR EXTRA DIAPERS

Did I mention that while I was holding Dezamies waiting for his cast to be put on he peed all over my shirt? Ok, to all my friends out there with children. It’s official, with that act I have passed the Rubicon of parenthood and officially joined the club.

NEED FOR TIME MANAGEMENT

Ok, I’m back on this one. Donna and I were already feeling guilty about having spent the morning away from the kids, but there were a few other things we needed to accomplish, namely getting to the TIGO store (Rwanda’s equivalent of Verizon) to fix our Wi-Fi access, shopping for supplies for the Home while we are here, exchanging money, and a side trip (more on that later). Did I mention before how long everything takes to get done around here? It took most of the rest of the day to finish everything, but had decided we’d just commit to getting most of our chores done today while we were already out. I didn’t realize the heavy price we’d pay later for that decision later.

NEED FOR FINANCIAL AID

Ok, yes, here it is. The official call for help….

.

Chantel had stopped by the Home this afternoon to be with the kids, and unfortunately Donna and I were running late to get back, so she agreed to come meet us at Nakamatt, the main mall area in Kigali that you can get more variety of stuff. Think of a small poorly stocked Wal-Mart without the low prices. We sent Jackie, Dezamies, and Fabiola home with Joseph, and stayed for a cup of coffee with Chantel. For those of you who are unaware, she is the woman who started this Home with her husband six years ago and together they are one of the most inspirational couples I have ever met. Which was probably why I was so moved when she told me she considered me family now, part of both The Home and her home. And then we talked finances. The Home has been blessed over the years with donations both big and small, but has no sustainable funding source. Unfortunately we are solely dependent on only the charity of others, a notoriously insecure funding source. Chantel has a vision though, to sell the houses the kids are at and to build on land that has been purchased with donations from others. On this land we can raise food and a few dairy cows and chickens for sustainable nutrition, this land can house all the kids together in one complex, this land that fronts road where storefronts and housing can be rented for sustainable income for The Home’s needs, and possibly provide jobs for the kids as they grow older. It is a grand vision, one that will reduce the dependency on foreign aid from those like you reading this blog by reducing operating costs for food and sustenance. But this also requires an upfront investment, some of which has been secured but much of which is unmet. But it is a grand vision. I have never seen a charitable organization with such a good business plan, as most just concentrate on constantly fund raising and not the challenges of dependence on that model. Like I said, Chantel and Laurent Mbanda are truly inspiring.

NEED FOR SELF INDULGENCE AND LAUGHTER

Ok, true confessions. Donna may have impulsively decided to buy a scooter, and part of our afternoon was spent picking it up and driving it back to The Home. Of course, as always, she debated the merits of splurging from her own pocketbook for such a purchase, and rationalized it by knowing it could be used by Abby to get back and forth to The Home while Donna wasn’t here, and how much time it would save (I mentioned that before) by not having to rely on others to run simple errands, and how convenient it would be once the dream of the new home on the land in Musanze came to fruition… but secretly I think she just really enjoyed the idea of her and I scooting around the streets of Kigali amongst the Moto’s and crazy drivers. And you know what? It was a blast! After both practicing driving around the parking (yes Mom I was wearing a helmet) we ventured out to the streets and highways of Kigali on our African version Roman Holiday with Donna playing the part of Audrey Hepburn and me at the wheel as Gregory Peck. We laughed the whole way back to the Home.

NEED TO FEEL FULFILLED

Do you have any idea how fun and fulfilling it is to have five little adorable girls repeatedly ask you when you would do Yoga with them? I do ☺. Do you have any idea how cool it is to have them saying hello and goodbye to you all the time with their hands at their hearts saying Namaste? I do ☺. Do you have any idea how fun it is to do sun salutations and headstands with five little adorable girls and one light spirited boy named Innocent while falling over and laughing and learning poises and sitting quietly hearing them trying not to giggle and seeing admiration and joy in their faces…. I do ☺.

NEED FOR EMOTIONAL INSIGHT, CAPACITY, AND SUPPORT

I went into this trip with no expectations. Or at least I tried. As my good friend Derek advised me, I needed to be careful because it was unrealistic to expect the level of joy and emotional fulfillment I had on my first trip here. Donna had also cautioned me that the second time around could be challenging, and to remember that these kids have lived three months of experiences without our being here, and that they may take a while to warm up to me again. Truthfully after the joyous first day of hugs and greetings I was not expecting it to be an issue. But I didn’t foresee the bigger issue either.

By yesterday afternoon I was already getting asked when I was coming back, placing an emotional commitment on me that was hard to answer. Today I struggled with both Sande and Nshimye both who were very quiet, reserved, and a bit aloof. Unlike last time I didn’t seem to have the answers for their struggling minds. I also struggled with Fabiola, as she wrestled with her preteen emotions by exhibiting shifting bouts of anger and obstinence. Truthfully, I also struggled a bit with the never ending clinging nature of all the urchins (I say that with love) hanging from me or wanting me to pick them up constantly as they seek consistent physical touch sadly so absent in their lives. I have come to realize that unlike last trip, this trip and any in the future are not about me. It’s not about me finding fulfillment, or finding a new direction in life, or even the warm feeling I get about myself when someone says to me so admiringly ‘it is so great what you are doing in Rwanda’. This is about meeting the inexhaustible emotional, physical, and emotional needs of 29 kids and an incredible sense of responsibility and fear that I will fail both them and myself.

NEED FOR A GOOD FRIEND, A NICE GLASS OF WINE, and A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP.

It is one o’clock and I am just finishing writing this. Donna is here and still up (check). She just poured me a second glass of wine from the bottle we purchased today (check). I am getting up at 6am to run the streets of Kigali with six little boys anxious for the next day’s adventure to begin… Well, two out of three isn’t all-bad. I figure I can sleep when I get home. And let’s not forget I did get to ride a Scooter around the madness that is the streets of Kigali today. Not everyone can say that!

UNSPEAKABLE JOY

Desami taking his first steps with his new walker! Go Desami go! Wow...even on the grass! Note his cheering section.

Peep Distribution Easter Egg Stuffing with oversite from Harvin Hmmm, what should we do with the leftovers? (yup...gobble em up) Miss Donna and the kids Dorcus...living up to her name. Always funny.

Ingabire saying hi to the Fredrick Family Esther Washing hands after the Peep fest. Mwami Ingabire and her egg.

Peeps and Mexican Train...the perfect combination! Harvin - your basic human toy. Havin Dogpile Havin and the kids. Miss Donna and some of the kids.

Easter is blessed at New Hope Homes

The morning started with the big boys loading up the plastic Easter eggs while Harvin stood watch to ensure each egg was filled with the EXACT same number of jelly beans. And of course the ‘fillers’ had to decide how they would divide up the leftovers. Hmm, didn’t take long to sort that.

Then the real joy began. Down at the 2nd homes, we had tears of joy when we placed Desami in the walker and waited. Within a flash he was in position and took his FIRST STEP with a big smile emblazoned across his face. The kids gathered around and cheered him on. While the walker is still too big for him, he totally got the hang of it and moved right along. The tears streamed down my face as I watched this miracle….being present to the joy of each step.

Then we were off to church. The congregation greeted Harvin,, me and the kids with open arms. The kids got ushered off to the kids’ section. Within moment a lovely woman slipped between Harvin and me to translate the service. 3 hours of translating is a big gift to give and she did it beautifully.

Given that yesterday kicked off a month long to commemoration of the genocide that started 18 years ago yesterday. The Pastor explained that it is a hard time, because want to celebrate Easter with lots of music and dancing, but to honor our family, friends and country we will not do it. We will use our hands as instruments and while we will sing some joy filled music, it will be a bit more reserved.

There was lots of preaching about loving the country, the window and the orphans. At New Hope Homes we are blessed to be able to do all three!

The Pastor – Lillian recognized Harvin and waved at him during the service. Afterwards she greeted us and asked when we could get together. We agreed to do lunch on Tuesday.

On the way back home we went by the neighborhood kids and greeted them. Most of them were at church but we saw some of our regular friends.

After the service, Harvin and I both crashed for an hour while the kids went down to the first house to play and have lunch. We both slept like rocks…I started my crazy dreams that come from anti-malaria pills…Harvin said he dreamed that he was sleeping – but then he woke up and realized he was!

We loaded up the projector, computer, jelly bean filled eggs and YES..THE PEEPS. Please people. Peeps are critical. How could we celebrate Easter without introducing PEEPS? The Easter celebration was complements of 6 year old Christian who gave me $15 from his piggy bank before I left. If you recall, he helped us fund the ice cream party in January. Christian – the son of Patty and Chris who help support the Desami twins recently had a very interesting conversation with he Dad a week or so ago. Chris asked him what he would do if he won the $540MM lottery. After a brief think time he said. “ I would keep $200 and give the rest to Auntie Donna so the kids in Rwanda could have ice cream parties all the time AND we could really help them.” Ya, I hope you tearing up too. Aaimee Reker and family also tucked some PEEPS into the contraband. Their family supplied 34 pair of brand new shoes for the kids. Yes, we are so blessed by so many of you who have show our kids so much love from ½ way around the world.

Down at the 2nd and 3rd homes, I taught some of the kids to play Mexican train. They love cards, so I figured they would pick the dominoes game quickly…and boy did they. They went round and round and had great fun.

When all the little kids woke up from their naps we played together and then decided it was time to hide the eggs. The little kids when inside while the big kids hid them. Then the big kids explained that the little kids should go run and find them. The giggles could be heard from blocks away as they discovered their treasures.

Lined up on the steps they all yelled “THANK YOU CHRISTIAN” hoping he could hear them in America. When the jelly beans were eaten we broke out the PEEPS. They seemed to like them…and of course the sticky fingers required a Harvin led forced march to the water station to wash up.

Desami then went for an nice stroll with his walker on the driveway, grass and sidewalk. The kids cheered him on with every step. Some time he would step on his curled up feet step by step…but then sometimes, he would simply swing his body and roll forward…in either case he was walking!!!! He was moving where he wanted to go, even in the grass. At one point he discovered he could get down to his knees and then he really took off, but we were afraid he would do a faceplant with the walker. The walker is clearly too big for him, but it’s a start. Remember, his twin brother has full motion of his body so we believe that with prayer, encouragement and some PT he will be able to reach his fullest God-given potential…and that’s all we can ask for.

Tonight was movie night. We set up the projector and they picked Music Man. I was so excited to try it out again as we brought a big transformer so the projector didn’t overheat again due to the 220 volts here. But alas, even with that it was foiled…so we watched a part of the it on the wall and part on the computer…but it was a snuggle fest for all the kids as they each try if they can get into one of our arms. As you know, these is nothing sweeter in life that having a kid fall asleep in your arms…and for these kids, they don’t get the opportunity to do that much…so all you people that say you want to come here…the simple gift of giving one of our kids the peace and security of your arms would make the whole trip worth it.

As we walked up the hill with the big kids to get them to bed, Lionel wanted to learn the words to “pick a little, talk alitte…cheep cheep talk a lot pick a little more” from Music Man on the way up the hill. He thought is was a quite a funny song!

It’s 11 pm here, Harvin has put the kids to bed after making them pushup, planks and telling funny stories.

All and all – yes indeed the kids and volunteers of New Hope Homes feel very blessed to be together this joyous Easter. If you want a last memory of the day…picture Desami’s first steps…that should get you through…Thanks Becky and family for fundig the walker and his new PT…you have changed a child’s life forever. YES INDEED, LIFE IS MADE UP OF MOMENTS…AND THIS MOMENT WILL LAST A LIFETIME.

GUESS WHO HARVIN? HARVIN AND THE KIDS HARVIN AND THE KIDS HAVINS EXCELLENT HIDING PLACE HARVIN IN VAN AMIDST THE LUGGAGE

Harvin was the best surprise I could have ever brought to New Hope Homes today.

Harvin got out of Chicago with 5 supplies bags and I got 5 more from Detroit. While it takes lots of coordination and patience to get the bags to the airport, the effort is worth it.

Our sincere thanks to all of you who helped with sheets, shoes, watches, pack and plays, financial donations etc etc. We could NEVER do this without you. .

I met up with Harvin in Amsterdam for our mutual layover. My favorite part of the AMS airport is the wonderful showers. Harvin is now officially spoiled as he got one too. Knowing we will be without running water makes the last hot wonderful shower something to be cherished. .

I usually sleep both legs of the trip, but managed to stay awake for about 4 hours on the AMS to Kigali portion as Harvin and I talked about so many different subjects the time flew. The plane was shockingly empty so we each got a row of 4 to catch some zzz’s. We also made a video for the kids as they are fascinated by what a plane really looks like and what’s the inside. The flight attendants let us walk the aisles, check out the food and even give them a tour of biz class. It was great humor. .

Returning to New Hope Homes is something that needs to be eased into. We both were so excited but trying to contain our joy as you need enter into each trip with zero expectations and simply open your hearts to meet the kids needs whatever they are today. After all, this is all about them. .

I keep warning Harvin that the 2nd trip is the hardest, especially after the life changing transformation of his trip in January. BUT…it’s hard to be transported back to the love and joy he felt with the kids then and wondering if it would still be here now. .

Awaiting our bags to come in at the Kigali airport, we hardly said a word, but keep looking at each other with such glee in our eyes that soon….very soon…we would be with the kids. Thankfully all 10 bags made it so we did not have a delay with trying to track down bags. .

Customs was a bit reluctant to let us pass with 10 bags, plus our carry-ons and Desami’s walker. Thankfully we had a letter from Chantal and a manifest with the supplies. Photos of the kids and my limited Kinyarwanda seemed to do the trick. Voila…they let us pass. .

The drive to our homes was filled with giddy anticipation as we tried to figure out the best way to reveal our surprise…HARVIN. The kids thought it was only me coming. We debated whether he should be hidden with the luggage or get out a block away and then knock on the gate. It was a toss up, so we finally decided he would hide amidst the luggage. We put up to the 1st home and the big kids came out to greet me. With hugs and love complete, I asked if they would help me get the bags out of the center seat of the van (where Harvin was hiding). They opened the door and started to take out a tire. Then someone said “hey there is a shoe”…but they simply thought it was as shoe. Then “Hey, there is a leg here”…the other kids came running…and then….”hey, there is a person here”…up popped Harvin and they screamed for joy! I mean it. They were sooooooooo excited to see him. They hugged him and loved on him. It was the sweetest outpouring of love I have seen in a long time. .

They helped get the bags into the house and then we set off for 2nd and 3rd homes. The sky is without visible stars here tonight as it had been raining earlier today. We made our way down the muddy hill to see the other kids. We again decided Harvin would be a surprise. I walked through and the kids and aunties greeted me with lots of hugs and kisses while Harvin hid around the corner. After about 5-6 mins, Harvin walked around the corner and said “What’s a guy gotta do to get a hug around here?” OMG…the kids took off in a full sprint across yard to leap into his arms. They were surpassed the aunties – especially Jackie – who were so excited to see him. .

He had promised that he would come back when he got a new job…and they are confident that their prayers helped make it happen! They all said they had been praying for him a lot! .

Clearly for the kids and family of New Hope Homes, Harvin is family and their love for him is very real. It was as if no time has passed.

So as we settle in the for the first night at New Hope Homes, and give the kids good night smooches, all is right in the world. .

Regrettably today is also the 18th anniversary of the genocide here, which killed 1 million people in 100 days in a country about the size of Maryland. Please keep them in your prayers as they morn the lose of their families and friends while combining it with the joy of Easter. .

With a grateful spirit. Donna

Heading back to Rwanda tonight.

Can't wait to see the kids. Can't wait for them to see the surprise I have for them. Yup, Harvin is going to be hiding with all the supply bags!

Heading Back to Rwanda this Friday

I can't wait to see the kids. Being away from them is so hard, but am thankful that Abby visits often so we get a chance to speak alot more now...but nothing is the same as physically being there. We have 10 supply bags nearly packed - so I send my deepest thanks to so many of you who are again helping making things wonderful for our kids. An Extra special treat for the kids is Harvin is coming back. He told the kids that if they prayed for a great job for him, that he would be back. Well, the Good Lord heard their prayers and he now has a terrific job at Starcom in Chicago and his new employers were gracious enough to let him travel. He said that the first thought in his head when he accepted the job was "I get to see the kids". Chantal agreed that he should be a surprise for them, so right now, they think it is only me. Woot, this should be fun! The trip is a bittersweet time as it is aligns with the joys of Easter but also the anniversary of the genocide. Please send us your love and prayers that we know how to minister to this sweet children and our caretakers during this trip.

When are you going back to Rwanda and who is Harv?

These are the two questions I am getting asked a lot lately.

The first question is easy. I’ll be back in April, then August, then December this year. I have two signed up for April. Who else is in???

Re: Harvin. His decision to come to Rwanda happened so quickly that I realized we never quite explained on the blog. Harv and I worked together at Campbell Mithun for many years. We were never in the same dept and our roles didn’t have us overlapping much so we both knew each other very little.

Harvin left CM late in 2011 and was enjoying some much-needed time off before deciding how best to plot the next stage in his career. During one of his networking meetings a former colleague of ours (Tim Hawley) suggested he step away from everything and do a service project in December. Another mutual friend suggested he talk to me about my life’s work in Rwanda. He came to my annual Christmas fund raiser for New Hope Homes and spent an hour talking to Roxie Goertz whose son Liles came to Rwanda about a year ago. As he was leaving my home he asked me to give him 2 mins on what our needs are….ie do we need anything built, painted etc etc? I said “We simply need good people, especially men, to come and love our kids. It’s especially important for our boys to get exposure to men who can serve as role models.” I told him that some people just don’t understand how important it is to just be with our kids, to love them, to let them read to us, to teach them. To hold them in their arms. The simply gifts that matter so much.

I was supposed to be leaving for Rwanda in few days so it was just a brief chat and we agreed to chat sometime in the near future about this work or other ideas where he could serve.

My trip got delayed due to work. Thus a few weeks later I left him a message that I was leaving in a week and he was welcome to join me if he wanted.

He got his mom to watch is dog and called back with “I’m in”.

Thus began the odyssey. He offered to bring two of the supply bags as his luggage and simply use carry on for himself. I was to arrive 2 days before him and he would stay 5 days after I left.

So there you have it. 2 people who didn’t really know each other. A very limited ‘brief’ of what he should expect. Me.. exhausted from a 4 month pitch and hoping Harvin’s addition to the team would be a good one vs sucking the last ounce of my limited reserve from me.

To make a long story short. Harvin was exactly what the kids needed in EVERY dimension. His connection with them was very real. It was powerful. It blew me away. I have never seen anyone so quickly and fully fall in love with these kids and immediately sense what they each needed.

On his 2nd day in Rwanda. I looked at him and said “you know you have a gift for working with kids…right?” The look on his face was priceless…. And his honest reply “No, I didn’t”….completely oblivious to the gift.

After each volunteer wraps their session at New Hope Homes, I like to write a tribute to them for their family and friends to see. Harvin got a 5 page letter from me. Below are some of the highlights.

Harvin, here are the beautiful gifts you gave our kids.

PATIENCE.

29 kids all wanting your time is intense. It’s hard to have one on your back, two on your knees one rubbing your head …And of course 2-3 yelling across the way “Harvin, Harvin…you see, you see”. You found a way to never let that intensity misfire.

One of my favorite moments was watching you sit patiently with Fabiola and Anna as they did their Lego project. Encouraging them every step of the way that they could do it. They could really do it. Never to give up. To keep believing they could do it. Celebrating every step along the way with a chest pump and peaceout sign.

OPEN ARMS.

You understood the simple gift of how a child feels when someone has their arms wrapped around them. It feels safe. It feels warm. It feels goooooooood. It is the simple act that gave so many of our kids a moment to really truly feel that. The sweetest memory for me was Nshimye asleep in your arms on the ground in front of the 2nd home with the 2 aunties just soaking it up. Jaki just kept looking at the situation with tears in her eyes as she saw the simplicity of this gift of love. The safety. The peace. The serenity. The love. That image is seared in my mind as so much of who you are. Exhausted from giving everything and sleeping so little, yet easing a boy who needed a little extra love into your arms and allowing him the beautiful gift of slumbering there. I would guess that when he has a hard time sleeping at night he may try to find that memory and the safety of your embrace to lull himself back to sleep.

THE STRENGTH IN BEING VULNERABLE.

You showed Isaac that strong men, real men, good men, men who love, men who know who they are, men who feel deeply ….do indeed shed tears. Those tears show pain, those tears help get the pain out…or at least attempt to get some of the pain out.

I asked him yesterday if he had ever seen a man cry or if you were the first. He said you were the first. That was a life long gift you gave him. Permission to feel deeply. To let the deep cuts, the wounds be felt and then to rise to the surface and pour out when they need to. That is a lasting gift. A real blessing.

CONNECTING WITH THE GIRLS.

I assumed the girls would like you and find you charming, but I didn’t expect that you would touch them they way you did. They craved to be in your arms. They craved to ensure that you saw them when they did something well from school to yoga and everything in between. I think it also gave them a feeling about how good it is to have a good man wrap his arms around them and some day they will hopefully be able to discern what it feels like to have a good man vs a bad man wrap their arms around them and will choose to look for a good man.

MAKING LEARNING FUN.

The favorite lesson that we taught was about respect. In your silliness you broke through and helped them really understand. It gave us the meaningful tools so that we could reference the word throughout the week and they immediately understood. Sure that was fun for you (good cop!), but you had the gift and sense of creativity to ensure I didn’t turn it in to a forgettable lesson.

SENSING PAIN AND KNOWING HOW TO ATTEMPT TO EASE IT.

Clearly the story of Isaac is seared into your heart and soul for a lifetime. So, I’ll let that one live there and stay there in your heart.

Rather, I’ll focus on others. First, sitting forehead to forehead with Fabiola and just being present to her. She is a tough little soul trying to sort her way through the world from a tough tomboy to preteen and all the complexities that come with all of it. Of course this is on top of being a total orphan. I sat hiding behind the safety of the lens of my camera and just breathed in what is the gift of you with her. You gave her time. Not just a little lesson in how to breathe, but to really feel you. You didn’t rush it. You were just there. Present. To know you genuinely care. You just held her head on both sides and pressed your foreheads together with an attempt to help take the calm and peace that was in your heart and try to transfer it to her. A man who had the strength to give a little girl the gentle spirit of your love. Your endless effort to get her to look up so she could see the love in your eyes and feel it rather than the constant gaze to the floor that is often our Fabiola. You took the time with her to ultimately ‘fight’…in this case it was ease her into trying the yoga pose with you. And now, you have a beautiful frog drawing by her to re-live that moment.

Sitting with 4 crying boys the night after I left said it all. Being present. Being safe. The part that you might not have understood is that many of those tears are advance tears knowing that today would be their last day with you. While they might not have the best sense of time, they understand the cascading effect of me leaving, you leaving and school starting.

THE VALUE OF A STRONG HEALTHY BODY.

From running to yoga, you taught them the joy and strength that comes from taking take of your body. Keeping it fit, strengthening it and of course, in yoga finding some inner peace and strength. Of course you made each of them fun – turning running into tasting coffee and yoga into gymnastics, but through it, you have given two additional life lessons. Yes, life lessons.

To Harv’s Family and Friends that have shaped his life journey…. on behalf of the kids of New Hope Homes, we thank you for the blessings of this man what you helped create.

To those of you who haven't read the post that preceded this one, please do...it will help explain some of the context for his tribute. His other guest entry will give you more insights too.

Guest Blog Post from Harvin.

Time got away from both Donna and I. Between spending time trying to work on much needed projects and getting everything ready for the older kids to go back to school, while also trying to cram as much time just being with the school age kids before they left, the blog fell by the wayside. True confessions, I am back in the States now, experiencing a simultaneous combination of personal inspiration from my time at New Hope Homes and sadness and sense of loss at my leaving. But I wanted to share this post trip anyway. There were a few days I had the joy/responsibility of being alone with the kids, as Donna had to return before me. This is the email I penned to Donna the night of her departure, my first night alone. It is really a tribute to this amazing woman, as I was able to experience first hand the love and sense of loss these precious children felt at her departure, as well as my own sense of void without her presence and strength. .

--------------- Dear Donna, .

Well I've already failed you since it's 10:17 and the boys are just bathing and brushing their teeth now. In my defense the uncles and aunties didn't leave till 830p to take them to dinner and I was too distracted by my 3rd crying preteen boy of the day to notice the time. .

We arrived back in the van to everyone waiting for Yoga. I took two rugs from the classroom out onto the patio under the near full moon, and there we did our dedication to Donna, to everything she means to all of us. Sure it began with a lot of giggles, but by the first warrior pose they were reasonably quiet, and as we all held our hands high and gazed at the moon, I spoke of what a strong warrior you are for them. Raising money to feed and clothe them, traveling back and forth across the globe to be with them, how lucky they were to have such a strong warrior guiding and providing and praying for them. By the end they were actually quiet (well mostly) but we managed to all lay there under the moonlight for nearly two minutes, silent and reflective and honoring the woman you are. .

Then of course the giggles started.... The girls went inside and the boys, Sande, Innocent, Isaac, Lionel, and I stayed out on the carpet and practiced. .

We practiced Warrior 1, and talked about the strength of that pose, how when you're legs are rooted in the earth and your arms and eyes are raised to the heavens you are balanced and strong. We practiced Warrior 2 and learned how looking over your fingertips is like looking at your future, rooted in the strength of the base you learned in Warrior 1. And as we launched into, and fell out of Warrior 3, we spoke of how a strong warrior launches himself into challenges and his future. How even if he falls out of it, that’s ok. He can launch again and regain balance and success. And then we talked about the hardest and most important warrior pose, 'Humble Warrior'. As they bowed over their front leg and tried to extend their little clasps hands to the sky behind them, we talked about how as men we must learn to be humble, to the women in our lives, to our brothers and sisters, and to others. How some of us are better or stronger at some things, yet to be really good or really strong is not enough and only through being humble are we true warriors and men. .

I have to say, I even inspired myself with that speech.... This crazy idea to teach them Yoga has provided some really awesome teaching moments. .

So as we 'men' sat there under the moonlight the conversation turned to my age. I told them I was 44, that most men in my country live to be 80, so I was half way through my life, but that was ok because there was still so much I was looking forward to doing. I told them their lives had barely begun, that as much as they had experienced, they still had so much to live. That how when I was their age, I barely knew where Africa was, let alone think I would ever travel there. That they already knew so much more than I did at their age, both good and bad. Maybe it was because of my own emotional state but here's where it got a little surreal. I talked about what this trip has meant to me, how it, they, have helped me to understand myself better, who I was, and who I wanted to be. How I was apprehensive about the next part of my life, how I most likely would have to move away from everyone I loved to find a job, but how grateful I was that this happened so that I could have met them. How I was trying to be excited about my future, and yet how some days I am incredibly sad or scared or both, just like them. .

And then I described Lionel, his future, how someday he would have a grand opening in a London gallery for his art work that people loved and wanted to pay him for, and how we would look at his paintings someday and laugh, remembering him drawing pictures in that old school house. .

And how someday when Sande finally figured out soccer wasn't the only sport around, he'd take up running seriously, win the gold medal in the Olympics, and when asked why he loved running so much he'd tell people he learned it by chasing this crazy old Muzungo around the streets of Kigali. .

And how someday no matter where in the world you went you could find a friend of Innocent, because his easy laughter made everyone want to be near him and know him as he travelled the world. .

And how Isaac would be president someday, maybe of a country or a business, and how his people or his employees would love him because he was not only a great leader, but a humble one. And how someday when they watched him address the UN, they would roll their eyes at how important people thought he was when they knew he was 'just Isaac'. But they would also be secretly proud of their brother and best friend. .

It was awesome to see these boys who have known so little to actually dream big dreams. Even Sande just sat there still, staring at me the whole time, completely devoid of at that air of indifference he wears so often. .

And then someone came out, and Lionel got distracted and started laughing and getting loud and distracting, and then Grace, Rose, Kayatesi, and Alice came out and laid down practically exhausted, then Manuel (the ‘Uncle’ and night watchman) to tell me it was late and he was taking the kids down to the lower house for dinner..... .

And then I noticed Sande was now laying on his side, oblivious to the commotion, silently crying into his arm. .

I managed to get Lionel and Isaac to take one of the rugs back to the school room, and tell everyone else that Sande and I would finish taking the other one in and meet them down at the lower house, and verbally hustle Prince and Nshimiye out of the house to catch up with the others at the gate, and, and, and..... .

And Sande just lay on his side silently crying into his arm the whole time. .

Once everyone finally left I curled up behind Sande on the ground and just held him and rubbed his back. After a very long time he sat up and openly cried in front of me, perhaps the first time he has ever cried in front of another man. Needless to say I cried too. After awhile I got up and got him some Kleenex, and both of us some water. He cried for a very long time. .

And then Manuel returned and I asked him to join us, so he just laid down next to us in silent support as Sande finished exorcising the last of his sadness. Manuel is such a good man. I witnessed him this week running with the kids and I, so careful with their safety. I witnessed him tonight just silently supporting a broken child. He really is one of the good ones. .

And then it got really fun. I asked Sande if we should teach Manuel some yoga. We taught him the warrior poses, just staring at the night sky together. And Manuel held a Headstand for nearly 5 minutes without effort, but kept falling out of Crow. And he can hold Plank forever, impressively beating Sande’s best effort. Yet as strong as he is, he's completely inflexible, so I put him in Pigeon pose and he screamed/laughed in pain. And it felt so good to hear Sande laughing along. .

The other boys returned and I went into Donna mode, teeth brushing and herding them towards the bath. As I was herding I found Sande inside and he looked at me with a weird look at told me, and I quote, 'You are like Bible Man'. I asked him who Bible Man was and he rifled through the DVD's and found one entitled Bible Man. Now it will come as no surprise to you I'm just not that familiar with Christian cartoon characters, but near as I can tell from the DVD cover art, Bible Man seems to be some Christian super hero in tights with 3 kid side kicks battling evil. Considering the reverence with which Sande said it I took it as a very sincere compliment and managed not to chuckle at the irony. .

With the boys now in progress of bathing, I grabbed my computer and began to type this email to you, exhausted but happy, thinking that I had survived and even managed to do some good. I was thrilled to break through with Sande and feeling rather good about myself when I hear the sobs. .

And here’s where I break. I found Prince stripped down to only his underwear, the last one to bathe, alone and sobbing uncontrollably by the bucket of water. It is a visual I will never forget, that of such a small child so vulnerable and so alone. I wrapped him in my sweatshirt and held him there for 40 minutes until his crying subsided enough to get him moving. I asked him if he wanted to finish bathing in the morning and he said 'jes'. I tried to gather his clothes from the ones remaining there with him just saying 'jes' and 'noh' to my inquiries, some of the few simple English expressions he knows. I led him to bed where he couldn't find his PJ top, so I went to my room and grabbed one of my Tshirts, dressed him in it, told him it was mine and so I would be with him all night. And then I just had to leave and go outside. .

So here I sit eating left over pizza from Abby’s pizza making with the kids this afternoon, tears in my eyes, listening to Diana Krall on my iPhone and wishing my friend Donna was hear to process with. I have just spent the last 45 minutes holding Prince's naked body in my sweatshirt by the bathing station as he sobbed uncontrollably. Four sobbing boys in one day is a lot for anyone to take. I feel so helpless. I must say crying nonstop for 10 minutes by myself while sitting alone at a Home for orphaned children in Kigali is not something I ever imaged I'd be doing in my life. .

Donna, I wrote this because I needed to talk to someone and you are not here. Truthfully I do not know if I'll even send it to you, or if I decide to, when I will be able to and when you'll get it. I also don't know if I can do this, whatever this is. I feel so committed to these kids, especially the boys, and yet the future looks so daunting and I feel so weak, helpless, and completely out of my element. How you managed this by yourself for so long is completely beyond my comprehension. But maybe a little sunlight tomorrow and hopefully a little sleep tonight, maybe the combination will give me some new energy tomorrow. .

Knowing you, I imagine you haven’t read this with completely dry eyes, but just in case they are, in the interest of payback for randomly calling me three Sunday's ago and putting me on this path to tears, let me just say this.... .

I have never seen so many with so little love someone so much. You touch these kids in ways that can't be described, and although it may pain you to hear from a 1st hand witness about the extreme sadness these kids feel at your departure, that is only the mirrored emotion to the unbelievable joy they feel in you're presence. You are a remarkable woman. These kids are incredibly blessed to have you in their lives and I feel incredibly lucky to call you my friend. Thank you for everything you do for them, and everything you have now done for me. .

Harvin.